chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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