She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
