You're a womanizer and a bitch.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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