I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
