But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
