eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
