omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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