The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
