happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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