she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
either way he was missing a nipple.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
