"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
