Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
