There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
