On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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