Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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