mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
