I wish my penis had an off switch
Non-Jews are for practice
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
