Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
