so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
