So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
