Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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