it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
