she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
