I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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