I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have post one night stand depression
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