just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
