bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
