May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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