Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
