who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
