i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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