Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
