so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
