I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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