There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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