I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize