Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
