you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
