So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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