I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
