Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
