you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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