Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
