The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
