I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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