i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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