i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
