Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
