walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
