: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
