I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
